What feedback provides a non threatening course of correction to eliminate undesired behavior?

I made the assumption that because they were in middle school, my students certainly knew how to appropriately respond to correction and redirection.

Well, I was wrong. My eyes were opened when I realized that several of my students were having mini temper tantrums at the slightest sign of correction.

I don’t mean falling-to-the-floor-in-a-fit-of-anger tantrums.  I mean eyes rolling, crossed arms, puffed out chest, talk-back, nostril-blowing, slammed books, foot-stomping tantrums.

I was a little dismayed at some of the behaviors displayed by my students.

For example, Erica sucked her teeth loudly, rolled her neck and eyes at me when I directed her to stop talking.

Anthony began huffing and puffing, then kicked the wall when I told him to move to another place in line after he tripped a peer.

Julian actually mocked me repeatedly when I told him to focus on his work.

I thought to myself, “This is middle school for goodness sake! They should already have these coping skills!”  Looking back, I can say they had coping skills.  Unfortunately, their skills just turned out to be very inappropriate.

In response to their behavior, I was quick to put labels on the students.  At first.  Such as “She being a brat” or “He is being a jerk”.  I quickly learned that while labels may have made me feel better, the behaviors were not changing.  And that was my ultimate goal.

I needed to find a way to be able to correct my students without them going off the deep end.

A few weeks later,  I got to know my students a little better. I was able to watch their behaviors (not just experience them) and made a discovery.

I discovered that my students were only doing what they knew how to do. They were demonstrating the only behaviors they had in their skill set to deal with teacher correction.

That their true goal was not to be disrespectful (although it was probably a bonus), but instead to avoid embarrassment, not lose control of the situation or ask for help.

Still, they were using coping behaviors that were inappropriate and often got them into trouble. And I had to come to terms with the fact that these were the behaviors my students were were most familiar with.

Once I saw that their goal and their behavior was less about disrespecting me or disrupting the class and more about getting their needs and wants met, I was able to view their behavior in a different light.

It wasn’t until I started using corrective feedback, that their response to correction and actual behaviors began to change.

What is Corrective Feedback

Corrective feedback is communicating to your students what they need to do in order to get what they want or need.

Corrective feedback gives your students the behavior steps needed to meet their true goal.

Goals like

• Being understood
• Communicating the need for help (without looking stupid)
• Accepting that they are not always right (while still feeling valuable)

Now before you start thinking “I don’t care what they want. They just need to follow my directions.” (I said the same thing.)  I want you to compare the inappropriate behavior to an academic problem.

What if instead of talking back, the student keeps regrouping in the wrong column?

What if instead of rolling their eyes and sucking their teeth, the student leaves verbs out of their sentences?

Would you dismiss their academic behavior with a label and accept a miraculous change?

Or would you provide corrective feedback and help them solve their problem?

Student misbehavior is just like an academic problem. They both show a student in need of a solution to get it right.

Corrective feedback helps to provide the solution.

How to Give Corrective Feedback

When it comes to corrective feedback, it’s all about timing and packaging (T&P). Simply put, know when to give the feedback and know how to say it.

Now what you say is also important, but I have found that it is easier for students to accept feedback and correction when its surrounded by the right T&P.

Here are some tips…

1. Use a calm tone of voice – this is not the time for yelling or stern voice.

       2. Use a neutral face– you are not giving a punishment, you are giving instruction, so your face                    should not look angry or upset.

       3. Acknowledge their goal– share that you know why they are behaving this way before giving                  the direction. This way they know you are trying to help them, not hurt them.

      4. Give them an alternative– give clear cut directions on the best way to act or behave in the                       given situation. Make sure that it meets the goal.

      5. Know when to communicate one-on-one or in a group setting– knowing the best time to                  give the feedback is important. If you embarrass your students, they are less likely to receive your               feedback. So choose your timing carefully.

Why Corrective Feedback Works

Corrective feedback works for 4 main reasons.

First, it makes the student less defensive.  With this type of feedback, the student is more likely to receive the feedback as a help to him/her, instead of criticism.

Second, corrective feedback gives your students a behavior to focus on.  This type of feedback gives your students options on how to be the best students they can be.  With corrective feed, they can focus on their replacement behavior instead of how they appear to their peers or you.

Third, corrective feedback is solution based.  Corrective feedback focuses on the solution, not the student.  It focuses on what your students can do, not on what they should have done.

Fourth, following the alternative actions and words you provide in your feedback produces success without trouble. When your students begin to try the steps given in your feedback, it is an act of faith in you and in your way of doing things.  And if the alternate behavior meets their need and keeps them out of trouble, your students will continue to use the behaviors you suggest. Therefore, their behavior will begin to change.  You will see changes in your students!

This is a tried and true method in correcting inappropriate behaviors.

I have used this strategy in my classroom as well as many others to address behaviors such as:

• Accepting correction from teachers
• Interacting with peers
• Frustration with academic work
• Talking back to the teacher
• Using profanity
• Arguing with peers

Try corrective feedback with your students.  Let me know how it works for you.

Are you using corrective feedback in your classroom? Comment below 🙂

If you have any questions or  are looking for ways to word your corrective feedback, send me an email:   or use the contact page in the menu above.

In an earlier discussion, we learned how supportive, feedback can reinforce a behavior you want repeated. In other words, one purpose of supportive feedback is to create behavior repetition. In some situations supportive feedback can actually correct behaviors as well, For example, a manager in one of my workshops had complained that the board of health could condemn his two teenage sons’ bedrooms. So I asked him to try an experiment by watching for any improvement in either boy’s bedroom whether it was intentional or not. When he noticed an improvement, no matter how small, he was to make a fuss with supportive feedback and then observe what happened. He agreed to the experiment and returned a month later with an interesting story.

“First, of all,” he said, “there was a little improvement in the 17 year-old’s bedroom, even though I gave several supportive comments. However, when I found some improvement in my 14 year-old’s bedroom and then made a fuss with supportive feedback, his reaction was totally opposite.”

The manager explained that after dinner one evening he mentioned to his younger son that his bedroom looked cleaner than it had the day before. Within a few minutes the boy was filling a large garbage bag with trash. Then the next evening the younger boy asked his mother if he could borrow some glass cleaner because he wanted to clean the windows in his bedroom.

Can you believe that? The boy wanted to clean the windows!

That manager then made an interesting comment. He said, “You know, I was getting converted to this way of thinking, but when I heard about the glass cleaner, 1 became a committed convert”

“Committed convert” or not, a batting average of .500 isn’t had!

So if using feedback appropriately can solve so many problems, why don’t more managers use it? There are several reasons, but the four most common are 1) managers may not believe that people need or deserve feedback; 2) managers may not have the skills necessary to deliver appropriate feedback; 3) managers may believe they don’t have enough time to deliver appropriate feedback; and, 4) the business world traditionally revolves around the profit and loss statement, not around “being nice to people” by giving appropriate feedback.

One of the most effective ways of eliminating ineffective behaviors from employees is to fill their feedback buckets. When your supportive feedback fills someone’s bucket, and makes them feel good inside, there is a much better chance that that person will act effectively and cause fewer problems in the future. A little investment of your time today will likely bring fewer problems tomorrow. And that, impacts directly to the bottom line of the profit and loss statement!

There are three common methods managers have used in an attempt to change employee behavior. The methods are telling, selling and threatening. The problem is that these commonly used methods are only marginally effective. And if they work at all, it’s only until you turn your hack. Then the person oftentimes goes right back to the same old behavior. If you doubt that, consider your reaction to being told what to do. Isn’t your first reaction to being told what, when, or how one of recoiling or standing firm against the request? And then, how do you feel about being sold on something? It makes most of us feel inferior or unqualified in some manner.  Our natural defensive instincts typically kick in when someone tries to sell us something.

What’s your reaction to being threatened by being told that if you don’t change something immediately there will be a dire consequence? Now, if you believe that what you’ve done is serious, you might accept a line being drawn in the sand. But, what if you don’t ‘believe your behavior deserves a threat?  How effective and long lasting is a threat then?

At this point experienced managers point out that some employees are primarily money driven and are only likely to respond, or change their behavior, when a line is drawn in the sand. To this I respond, remember, changing behavior is almost always a process, not a single event. Sometimes it can even be a very slow process. And sometimes it won’t work, despite our best efforts and intentions. But our obligation as managers is to use the best techniques we can.

It’s important to understand how feedback works for most people so that you can know when to use supportive feedback or corrective feedback. The following chart can help clarify the difference.

The reason why we need to support or correct behaviors is that behaviors drive performance, and performance drives results. When changing employee behavior, it’s very important that the employee clearly understand the connection between what you are asking him/her to do and the impact the change will have on organizational results. Without that connection, the employee is likely to get lost in the process. The process works like this. Positive behaviors tend to drive positive performance, which tends to drive positive results, which deserves supportive feedback, or the positive behavior may not be repeated. Negative behaviors tend to drive negative performance, which tend to drive negative results, which deserves corrective feedback. If supportive feedback doesn’t work, then move on to corrective feedback. If corrective feedback doesn’t work, then move on to drawing a line in the sand with an appropriate level of discipline.

In Part Two of this discussion on corrective feedback we’ll learn a practical method of transferring ownership of both the problem and its solution to the employee. By transferring problem/solution ownership to the employee, you will have a much better chance of a long lasting solution without the collateral damage that can happen when you use the traditional methods of telling, selling or threatening. In the mean time, try using supportive feedback as a tool to correct behavior; how about at home in a child’s messy bedroom?

In an earlier discussion, we learned how supportive, feedback can reinforce a behavior you want repeated. In other words, one purpose of supportive feedback is to create behavior repetition. In some situations sup

portive feedback can actually correct behaviors as well, For example, a manager in one of my workshops had complained that the board of health could condemn his two teenage sons’ bedrooms. So I asked him to try an experiment by watching for any improvement in either boy’s bedroom whether it was intentional or not. When he noticed an improvement, no matter how sm

all, he was to make a fuss with supportive feedback and then observe what happened. He agreed to the experiment and returned a month later with an interesting story.

“First, of all,” he said, “there was a little improvement in the 17 year-old’s bedroom, even though I gave several supportive comments. However, when I found some improvement in my 14 year-old’s bedroom and then made a fuss with supportive feedback, his reaction was totally opposite.”

The manager explained that after dinner one evening he mentioned to his younger son that his bedroom looked cleaner than it had the day before. Within a few minutes the boy was filling a large garbage bag with trash. Then the next evening the younger boy asked his mother if he could borrow some glass cleaner because he wanted to clean the windows in his bedroom. Can you believe that? The boy wanted to clean the windows!

That manager then made an interesting comment. He said, “You know, I was getting converted to this way of thinking, but when I heard about the glass cleaner, 1 became a committed convert”

“Committed convert” or not, a batting average of .500 isn’t bad!

So if using feedback appropriately can solve so many problems, why don’t more managers use it? There are several reasons, but the four most common are 1) managers may not believe that people need or deserve feedback; 2) managers may not have the skills necessary to deliver appropriate feedback; 3) managers may believe they don’t have enough time to deliver appropriate feedback; and, 4) the business world traditionally revolves around the profit and loss statement, not around “being nice to people” by giving appropriate feedback.

One of the most effective ways of eliminating ineffective behaviors from employees is to fill their feedback buckets. When your supportive feedback fills someone’s bucket, and makes them feel good inside, there is a much better chance that that person will act effectively and cause fewer problems in the future. A little investment of your time today will likely bring fewer problems tomorrow. And that, impacts directly to the bottom line of the profit and loss statement!

There are three common methods managers have used in an attempt to change employee behavior. The methods are telling, selling and threatening. The problem is that these commonly used methods are only marginally effective. And if they work at all, it’s only until you turn your hack. Then the person oftentimes goes right back to the same old behavior. If you doubt that, consider your reaction to being told what to do. Isn’t your first reaction to being told what, when, or how one of recoiling or standing firm against the request? And then, how do you feel about being sold on something? It makes most of us feel inferior or unqualified in some manner.  Our natural defensive instincts typically kick in when someone tries to sell us something.

What’s your reaction to being threatened by being told that if you don’t change something immediately there will be a dire consequence? Now, if you believe that what you’ve done is serious, you might accept a line being drawn in the sand. But, what if you don’t ‘believe your behavior deserves a threat?  How effective and long lasting is a threat then?

At this point experienced managers point out that some employees are primarily money driven and are only likely to respond, or change their behavior, when a line is drawn in the sand. To this I respond, remember, changing behavior is almost always a process, not a single event. Sometimes it can even be a very slow process. And sometimes it won’t work, despite our best efforts and intentions. But our obligation as managers is to use the best techniques we can.

It’s important to understand how feedback works for most people so that you can know when to use supportive feedback or corrective feedback.

The reason why we need to support or correct behaviors is that behaviors drive performance, and performance drives results. When changing employee behavior, it’s very important that the employee clearly understand the connection between what you are asking him/her to do and the impact the change will have on organizational results. Without that connection, the employee is likely to get lost in the process. The process works like this. Positive behaviors tend to drive positive performance, which tends to drive positive results, which deserves supportive feedback, or the positive behavior may not be repeated. Negative behaviors tend to drive negative performance, which tend to drive negative results, which deserves corrective feedback. If supportive feedback doesn’t work, then move on to corrective feedback. If corrective feedback doesn’t work, then move on to drawing a line in the sand with an appropriate level of discipline.

In Part Two of this discussion on corrective feedback we’ll learn a practical method of transferring ownership of both the problem and its solution to the employee. By transferring problem/solution ownership to the employee, you will have a much better chance of a long lasting solution without the collateral damage that can happen when you use the traditional methods of telling, selling or threatening. In the mean time, try using supportive feedback as a tool to correct behavior; how about at home in a child’s messy bedroom?

Part 2

The scenario we’ll use as a demonstration of this technique involves a son who appears unwilling to make a decision regarding what to do following his high school graduation. The technique used with the son is the same as what you would use with an employee for a similar problem. So as you read this scenario, pay close attention to not only how it is done, but also how you could use it with an employee. I’ll call my son “Junior.”

“Thanks for coming with me to get some pizza. There is something important that I’d like to discuss with you. (By referring to this discussion as “important,” I’m clarifying the son’s expectations as to what is about to happen.)

“I’m concerned about what appears to be a lack of direction in your life. You’re 17 now and graduation is only a few months away. What would you like to be doing a year from now?” (A statement of perception is a good place to begin.)

“I dunno,” Junior said. (This is a common phrase when people either really don’t know the answer, or when they don’t want to give an answer. It’s important to not let an “I dunno” get by you.)

“I think you do know. I know you like to be with your friends, and you like to work with computers and play computer games. You know what you like, and what you don’t. So it’s likely that you’ve given a little thought to next year. I respect you, so I’ll respect your answer.” (This statement challenges the “I dunno” response. Its purpose is to get the other person back on track.)

“Tell me what would you like to be doing in a year?” (The purpose of this question is to get the other person to project his/her thinking away from the immediacy and confusion of today and think forward to a year in the future.)

“I guess going to school.”

“That’s a really good answer.” (Note the use of supportive feedback when I get an answer that helps.)

“What would you like to be doing in five years?” (Now I ask a question that forces him to think even more into the future.)

“Five years after I start school, I guess I would be graduated.”

“That’s where you’ll be in five years. Tell me what you would like to be doing in five years.” (Note that he didn’t answer the question I asked. This is common among people who haven’t been trained to listen. So rephrased my question and asked it again.)

“Some of my friends know exactly what they want to do, but I’m not sure. It might be something with computers.”

“So some of your friends already have a direction in mind. How do you feel about your friends knowing what they want to do, and you being undecided?” (I went to his feelings about the situation, because they can motivate him far better than my threats or admonitions.)

“It bothers me.”

“It sounds like you’re bothered by not knowing, but if you chose today, it might be something in the computer field (I paraphrased his comment back to him so that he can hear what he said, and he knows I’m listening.)

“That’s right.”

“Some people can get confused about a solution to a problem, because they can’t see all the complicated details to the solution. It’s possible that the problem you’re having deciding is in part based on how complex the computer field has become. How close am I?” (Without appearing to be judgmental, I tried to summarize what he might be feeling. At 17 years old he most likely doesn’t understand his inner feelings. Emotional maturity, or understanding feelings, doesn’t occur for most people 22-26 years of age.)

“Well, it is large, and I’m not sure if I want to work in systems, networks, programming, or whatever. I just don’t know.”

“That is exactly my point. I would be confused too. Most people would:” (This statement shows my empathy and respect for his feelings.)

“Tell me, is it absolutely necessary for a first-year computer student to decide his specialty before he begins any classes? What do you think?” (Now I made him consider a critical question.)

“Maybe it’s not.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” (This is supportive feedback again.)

“So if you would like to be graduated with some type of a degree in computers in five years, and you would like to be working toward that goal one year from today by going to school, what do you need to do this week in order to help you achieve those goals?” (This is the question I had in mind from the beginning of the discussion. It, clearly, is the most important question of the discussion. The son’s answer tells me if I’ve been successful.)

“Get ready for graduation and send in my application to the community college.”

“That’s exactly right. What could I do to help?” (I agreed, and then offered supportive feedback.)

Over many years of dealing with people–some who have been cooperative and some less than cooperative–I have developed a series of steps that can be used in a progression from mild intervention to serious intervention. You already know that the first step in this progression is to try supportive feedback. The second step is to transfer problem/solution ownership by using a series of open-end questions, such as the demonstration above. But now what do you do if neither of those techniques work? That will be the subject in the next discussion on corrective feedback. Look for an opportunity, at home or at work, to try transferring problem/solution ownership.

Part 3

Last time we learned how to transfer ownership of the problem and solution to the employee (don’t forget this works at home with a son or daughter) by asking a series of directed but open-ended questions.  We learned that if the employee will accept ownership of the problem and solution, there is a high likelihood of long-lasting success.  If, for whatever reason, you don’t use directed questions and resort to imposing a solution, there is a possibility that any change in behavior will be temporary.  That means the conversation will happen again,

In this discussion, we’re going to look at the most effective method of imposing a solution, assuming supportive feedback and/or a series of directed questions haven’t been successful. There are situations where neither supportive feedback, nor asking directed questions will get the desired behavior change. Perhaps it’s because of the differences in people, or maybe it has to do with the fact that some people are downright stubborn. The truth is that some situations are difficult and can even be explosive. And remember, sometimes things don’t go as planned. Whatever the reason, managers (parents too) need a direct technique that can work in those situations. In my 30 plus years of dealing with people and a manager and coach, I’ve seen this .final technique work in situations where the others have failed. I hope you’ll notice that it is very similar to the supportive feedback strategy that we learned in a previous discussion.

I learned many years ago that the most effective managers seem to work on their effectiveness at home and then bring those techniques to work. For that reason, let me use an example from home one that commonly plagues many American households. Assume, for this example, that you have a teenager whose bedroom needs a serious cleaning. It’s been cluttered and dirty for a long time. Assume also that you’ve tried supportive feedback and directed questions, but neither has generated any behavior change. So now you decide to impose a solution with an assertive statement. After considering your approach, you choose the right time and place for the discussion.  Sitting your son down you begin.

“Junior, for several weeks you have neglected your bedroom. There are dirty clothes and discarded food wrappers on the floor. Your room hasn’t been cleaned for a long time. You have lived with trash and clutter for so long that I fear it has become a way of life. Quite frankly, I feel embarrassed to have anyone see your room, because it lowers the standard of our entire family.  I need you to take better care of your room. What can I do to help?”

The same technique could be used at work. Consider a stocker who has repeatedly ignored a particular section. Once again, assume you’ve tried supportive feedback and directed questions in an attempt to change behavior, but they haven’t worked. So, you resort to an assertive statement. Using the same formula, the statement could go something like this.

“Sam, for several weeks you have neglected this section. Every day this week, for example, we’ve had at least a dozen out of stocks. I’ve checked the back room and there’s back stock that could be worked in, but for some reason it stays in the back room. I worry that your behavior these past weeks has become a habit. Frankly, I’m embarrassed for our customers and employees in this store to see this section, because it lowers the standard of our entire store. I need you to take better care of this section. I need you to take the responsibility of working the back stock in even before the nuts appear. Now, what could I do to help?”

So, what do you think? Would an assertive statement work? What are the odds that “Junior” or “Sam” will change their behavior? And more importantly, what are the odds that any behavior change will be long-lasting? That might be the more significant question.

The answer is that assertive statements can produce long-term behavior change, but not as often as using supportive feedback or directed questions. But as a final attempt to change behavior, it’s something you need to try. And sometimes, it will work. I’ve been surprised in numerous situations where I made an assertive statement believing it was a futile attempt, only to discover that it worked.

In each of the two examples above, a formula was used. Did you see the similarities? The formula empowers the technique with the possibility of success, because it is constructed in such a way that the receiver gets a very strong message, without damaging personal self-worth. Note also that the formula includes specifics about the undesirable behaviors and their consequences. Another thing the formula does is to approach the employee on a “feelings” level. Our feelings about undesired behaviors can be as powerful in changing behavior as a description of the behavior itself. Too many managers fail to include their feelings about a situation because they feel uncomfortable when describing their feelings. Don’t avoid describing your feelings: use them. Your feelings can be a powerful tool.

The formula used in the examples is as follows: Assertive statements to correct behavior:

1. Describe the specific behavior.

2. Describe the consequences of the behavior.

3. Describe how you feel about the behavior.

4. Describe why you ‘feel that way.

5. Describe what you need changed.

Frankly, of the three methods we’ve learned in this series of three discussion on correcting behavior—supportive feedback, directed questions and assertive statements—I like directed questions most. That technique works more for me, on average, than the other two methods. Remember though, that being skilled in all three methods will give you options. And having options can make you a more effective manager at changing behavior and driving results.