If you know someone who is experiencing depression, it can be difficult to know how to best show them support. Focus on letting them know you’re there for them, that they’re not weak, they’re not alone, and that there is hope. Show
Call the NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE at 800-273-8255 Major depression is one of the most common mental health disorders in the world, so it’s likely someone you know or love has been affected. As of 2021 research, the World Health Organization estimates that 5% of adults are living with depression worldwide. Knowing how to talk with someone living with depression can be a great way to support them. While reaching out to someone with depression can’t cure them, social support can remind them they’re not alone. This can be hard to believe when depressed, but can also be incredibly helpful in a crisis. Even science has backed up the importance of social support. Research from 2017 has shown that the likelihood of depression has reduced with high quality social connections. Social support — particularly family support — has a protective factor against depression and anxiety. So, what should you say to someone who has depression? Here are seven things to say to let them know you care. You can’t force someone to talk but knowing you’re available can really help them feel supported. If they haven’t been forward with you about their depression, you may want to mention you’ve noticed they’re having a hard time and you’re there if they want to talk. If you simply ask, “Are you OK?” they may be used to pretending and reply “I’m fine.” If they’re not ready to talk now, remind them you’re here for them when they’re ready. They may remember your offer and come to you when they’re having a hard time and need someone to talk with. 2. What can I do to help today?Depression often causes fatigue, trouble sleeping, and a lack of motivation. Sometimes just getting out of bed can be hard. Asking what you can do can really help them through their day. Maybe they’re not eating well and you can pick up dinner. Maybe they need a morning call or text to ensure they get to work on time. Offering to do so is a way to let them know it’s OK to seek help. Sometimes you just need to listen. Helping doesn’t have to be a huge, drastic effort. It can be as simple as picking up a phone, sharing a meal, or driving them to an appointment. What not to say This can give you some insight into how their treatment is going or if they need help getting professional assistance. Depression is a medical condition. It’s not a flaw or weakness. It’s important to assure them they’re not weak or defective. If someone you love has depression, encourage them to seek professional help if they haven’t already done so. Remind them that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Asking how their treatment is going can also encourage them to stick with their treatment plan. You may also tell them when you’ve noticed improvements. This can help validate it’s working, even if they don’t always feel like it is. 4. You’re not alone — I may not understand exactly how you feel, but you’re not aloneDepression is incredibly common. According to quarterly data from the 2019 National Health Interview Survey, about 4.7% of U.S. adults experienced depression regularly. This is from the data we have, but many people don’t seek help. Depression can make many people feel alone and like they should isolate. Tell them they’re not alone. Be there for them, even if you don’t have a similar personal experience. If you’ve had depression, you can share that you know what they’re going through. This can help them relate. However, keep the focus on them. Remember to listen first. 5. You’re important to meIt’s always nice to know you’re loved or wanted. When someone’s depressed, they may feel the exact opposite. That’s why telling someone that they’re important to you, that you need them in their life, and that they matter can be so comforting. You can also be more specific about what you love about them or how you appreciate them for something they do. 6. That sounds like it’s really hard; how are you coping?The purpose is simply to acknowledge that you realize how hard it is for them. Acknowledging how hard depression and its symptoms can be can help them feel seen. It’s a good reminder that you’re listening, you see them, and you’re here to help them cope. 7. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, and I’m here for you if you need meThe fact is, there’s no perfect thing to say to someone living with depression. Your words won’t cure them. But they can help. Let them know that there is hope. Reminding someone that you’re there for them whenever they need you — whether that’s in the form of help with a small task or someone to call in a crisis — can be so essential to saving a life. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, there are three categories of suicide warning signs to look out for: TalkWhat a person says can be an important indicator of suicidal ideations. If someone talks about killing themselves, feeling hopeless, being a burden, having no reason to live, or feeling trapped, be concerned. BehaviorA person’s behavior, especially related to a big event, loss, or change, can indicate suicide risk. Behaviors to watch for include:
MoodDepression is the most common condition that’s associated with suicide. Depression, anxiety, loss of interest, or irritability are all moods that can indicate someone is considering suicide. They may display one or more of these moods in varying degrees. Depression, if left untreated or undiagnosed, is especially dangerous. Suicide isn’t inevitable. We can all help prevent suicide. If you believe someone you know may be thinking about suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255 for free, any time, 24/7. The hotline also offers you a toolkit for supporting people on social media, down to specific platforms like Facebook and Twitter. They can help you determine how to identify someone in need of support and who to contact within the social media community if you’re worried about their safety. Support — both social support and professional — is important. Following up with your loved ones, especially if they’ve shown signs of depression or suicidal thinking, is just one way we can help each other. Encourage your loved ones and friends to seek help for their depression or suicidal thoughts. Know the warning signs to help prevent suicide, and use these seven ways to help you start talking with someone with depression. Even with aggressive awareness campaigns all over the world, clinical depression remains to be one of the least understood health conditions by many. This deficient knowledge causes strains on communication and consequently leads to faulty relationships and failed interventions. If you know someone diagnosed with depression; you find yourself taken aback and deeply upset to be in a place where you find yourself not knowing what to say and what to do. Truly, one of the hardest things for the logic to process is the one that involves emotions, and at times, it feels like being too careful not to step on a fault line or they will withdraw themselves again. We know that one person who we do not expect to be diagnosed with depression. We have friends who lost their loved ones to social isolation. We may even have that private moment of shock when we realize we are the one fighting it. Simply put, we do not entertain the reality of it until it happens to us or to someone we know. A constant feeling of sadness for at least two straight weeks and loss of interest in the things one finds satisfying is what depression is. Other manifestations include weight loss or change of appetite, fatigue, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, diminished ability to think and concentrate, and the presence of suicidal thoughts. It is not a ‘life phase’ that someone grows out, like a bad haircut or an old perm. Unlike far-advanced stages of cancer and multi-drug resistant infections, nurses have powerful weapons accessible in their hands at any time of the day: self-awareness and communication techniques. So here are five therapeutic communication techniques nurses should utilize to deliver effective nursing care in working with individuals having depression: 1. Trash “I think…” and “You should…”Giving opinions and advice on what should individuals with depression do to manage their condition is very easy. For some, it might sound good because this is an active way of helping them by providing concrete solutions and “straightening” out their perceptions. Statements like “You should just have chosen to stay positive” and “I think being happy is a decision” may mean well but roughly translates to having a choice on how one should feel and by free will, the person chose to feel depressed. The goal is to help them find their feet again and maintain stability on the ground. The nurse should help the client explore his ideas regarding possible solutions to his problems. Giving advice may make the patient think that his problems can be easily solved, and this just makes the client feel inadequate. Add to this the possibility that the client may not agree with what the nurse offers and develops resentment towards the nurse which can sever the relationship. Instead, the nurse can ask the client to describe his feelings about the problem and consequently may offer facts and services that can help depending on what client stressed that can make him feel better. Again, it is important the client’s decision-making skill should be given importance. 2. Acknowledge their pain.The first thing that the nurse sets for to gain the client’s trust and cooperation is an environment of understanding and acceptance. When the client shares feelings of anger, worry, and anxiety, it is important for the nurse to acknowledge the feelings and encourage the client to express them more. Being able to recognize that it must be embarrassing or difficult for the client to feel as he does prevent passing of judgments to the feeling itself. Judgments shame and invalidate individuals with depression such as when the nurse asks them why they let their lives be complicated by the petty things they preoccupy themselves with. 3. Remain neutral.It is a challenge for nurses not to agree nor disagree with clients. If the nurse approves and agrees with what the client just shared, the nurse sets standards of what is acceptable based on the nurse’s values. This might also force the client to attune his feelings to what the nurse’s approved of even when he does not feel the same because the accepted values will be used to judge his behaviors. The client may be prevented from saying what he believes in especially if it does not conform to the nurse’s standards. Agreeing with the client also makes the future modification of opinions stated by client difficult. On the other hand, disagreeing on clients’ actions and feelings is imposing the nurse’s own beliefs on clients. This intimidates and angers clients and can lead to problems with the established relationship. 4. Silence is therapeutic.Not all shared feelings need reply. Some circumstances render silence more appropriate than the most carefully crafted set of words for a response. This slows down the conversation and provides client some time for contemplation and reflection for what he just shared. This may provoke anxiety on the nurse’s part, but this proves to be beneficial as this allow clients to collect their thoughts. They can refocus clients by helping them to the part where they left off or to ask them what they are thinking. This is also the perfect time to assess non-verbal gestures. 5. Let client decide on the topic of conversation.One thing that should be remembered in communication is to let the client decide on the direction of the conversation. Nurses should stay away from launching on the very first thing that caught their attention, such as when the client looks like he hasn’t slept or when he dresses up for the first time. Allowing the client some broad opening shows that the nurse wants to focus on the client and is interested in what he thinks is important as of now. When the client starts sharing, this is the time when the nurse can explore the client’s thoughts. In a poetry entitled “Explaining My Depression to My Mother” by Sabrina Benaim, she struggled to let her mother understand her depression. It was even more difficult for her because she does not understand herself as well. The first few lines went “Mom, my depression is a shape shifter. One day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear. The next, it’s the bear.” Depression may seem incomprehensible at first but with education, communication skills, and self-awareness, the relationship between nurses and clients will be successful and efficient. |