How to fix death grip

Can’t orgasm during sex? Ever heard of death grip syndrome?

If you answered no to both, you’re not alone. There are millions of men worldwide who have no problem getting an erection, but for some strange reason, they can’t cum for their woman.

They can masturbate fine, and have no problem cumming then, but still – sex presents a problem.

Sex just isn’t as pleasurable as it once was, and you prefer the stimulation from masturbation.

If this sounds like you, you might be dealing with – Death Grip Syndrome.

What Is Death Grip Syndrome?

It’s is just what it sounds like. It’s the result of masturbating with a strong (deathly) grip.

When you masturbate with a tight grip, you start to break down the nerves on the outside of the penis.

If you’ve ever practiced edging, you know that it trains the cells to respond less to the stimulation of sex, therefore making you last longer.

However, Death Grip Syndrome (DGS) is the opposite. When you have DGS, you’ve worn down the nerves on your penis so much that you can’t orgasm.

Maybe you think you have death grip syndrome. If so, you’ll definitely have some of these…

Death Grip Syndrome Symptoms

Unlike most sexually transmitted diseases, Death Grip Syndrome can’t be detected with a quick blood test.

Also, Death Grip Syndrome has levels of extremity. It’s a spectrum.

To determine if you’re struggling with Death Grip Syndrome, check if you have some of these symptoms.

Reduced Pleasure During Sex

The first symptom is reduced pleasure. You may find that masturbation is enjoyable, but sex is not. This could be the beginning of DGS.

Your nerves are getting worn down. It’s not so much that you can’t orgasm, but you’re still seeing the beginning of Death Grip Syndrome.

Sex should be an extremely satisfying activity. If sex feels more like a chore, you might have Death Grip Syndrome.

Delayed Orgasm

The next level of Death Grip Syndrome is Delayed Orgasm. Delayed Orgasm is the opposite of Premature Ejaculation. Instead of orgasming instantly…you orgasm…never.

No matter how much you pound away, change positions, re-apply lube, switch to oral, then back to vaginal…you can’t seem to orgasm. That is unless you use your hand.

If that’s you, you definitely have Death Grip Syndrome.

Inability to get hard for sex

Once you have Delayed Orgasm, it’s possible that your erection quality starts going out the window. Subconsciously, your brain knows that you’re not going to orgasm, so why bother getting hard?

At this point, you’re dealing with a bad case of Death Grip Syndrome. Your severity is so bad, that you can’t even have sex. That’s not good!

Dry Dick

The last symptom to look for is a dry dick. Look at your masturbation habits and tell me if you’re masturbating frequently. Also, take note if you don’t use lube.

Put these two together and it’s likely that your penis is dry from all of the activity.

You may find that your penis is rough and calloused, and maybe red in spots. That is not normal and is a sure sign that you are experiencing DGS.

So, how do we fix it?

Death Grip Syndrome Treatment

Thankfully, Death Grip Syndrome can be treated fairly easily.

Before I tell you how, I want to reiterate something: this will take time.

You’ve probably been masturbating the same way since you were a teenager. Death Grip is the result of years of repetition, and it won’t be cured overnight.

Be patient, and you’ll have great success. Now, here’s how to fix Death Grip Syndrome.

Stop Masturbating

I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but cutting masturbation out is the easiest way to remove Death Grip Syndrome for good.

The root cause of Death Grip is that you masturbate too forcefully. You could say, “oh I’ll just masturbate with a looser grip!”

That sounds like a good idea but is harder to implement. Your penis is so used to the extremely strong grip, that it’ll be difficult to wean yourself off it. Masturbation with a looser grip is much more boring, and you won’t like it.

Instead, stop masturbating. It’s pretty impossible to stop masturbating forever (believe me, I’ve tried), but you can at least minimize masturbation as much as possible.

Try to cut your frequency in half. So if you masturbate every day, try masturbating every other day, or – ideally – once a week.

Loosen Up

If you find it difficult to quit masturbating, don’t worry, there’s still hope.

To fix Death Grip Syndrome, change your masturbation habits. You can start by using a weaker grip, an alternate hand, or even just your thumb & pointer finger.

Try different modifications in order to relieve the pressure on your penis.

One modification is to use lube. I don’t know what you currently use for lube, but many men with Death Grip syndrome masturbate dry.

That is the worst thing you can do. Use lube to reduce the sensation and keep your penis supple.

If that doesn’t work, the best remedy is to…

Have More Sex

Yup, sex will definitely cure Death Grip Syndrome. Maybe you doubt me because you have sex “all the time” now, but really…how often are you having sex?

Most men my age have been married for years, and consider three times a week “a lot” of sex.

Nope, I consider daily sex to be a good amount.

If you quit masturbating and replace it with a ton more sex, your penis will adjust to the sensation of your woman’s vagina, and Death Grip syndrome will disappear.

The Slight Problem With Curing Death Grip Syndrome

Although Death Grip Syndrome is stressful to deal with, there is one silver lining – stamina.

Your penis is so used to the tight grip of masturbation, that when it’s time to have sex, you can last twenty…thirty…even fifty minutes with no issues.

If this sounds like you, you might be worried that curing Death Grip Syndrome will take away your stamina and turn you into a minute man.

To that I say – yes, you need to be careful. Your penis will become a lot more sensitive and you may wish to consider preparing by doing some exercises to help you last longer. 

Sex isn’t easy when you’ve over-sensitized your dick, but these dudes are proof positive that it’s possible to loosen your grasp

Ben has always been an imaginative masturbator. As a young child, he discovered prone masturbation, which involves lying face-down on virtually anything and humping away. “I’d press my pubic bone against a folded pillow, wadded-up clothes or a hard surface, like a sink top,” he explains. “The feeling of this heavy pressure at the base of my penis is what would drive me to orgasm.”

But as a teen, Ben, a pseudonym, learned he wasn’t fapping like his friends were and set out to master the more common method of masturbation: Simply stroking his member. He immediately ran into problems, however. “Being used to prone masturbation, the only way this worked was with a very tight grip and a lot of friction,” he tells me. “I’d ultimately need to rub my skin quite raw to orgasm.”

This isn’t uncommon: Frequent prone masturbation has been shown to result in obstacles like anorgasmia (an inability to orgasm) and erectile dysfunction, since it puts a good deal of tension on the phallus, which can dull other forms of penile stimulation. In fact, it’s been estimated that 60 percent of prone masturbators struggle to cum during partnered intercourse, and even more than 60 percent have trouble becoming erect. 

By his mid-30s, Ben, who’d continued both prone masturbation and overzealous rubbing of his dick, had developed a bad case of “death-grip syndrome,” a desensitization of the penis that results from these especially rugged methods of wanking. As a consequence, he dealt with persistent erectile dysfunction and a deep-seated displeasure with his sexual abilities, most of which revolved around not being able to cum from partnered sex. “Several partners were disappointed,” he tells me. “I was frequently worried about not being able to perform.” 

Ben isn’t alone in his experience with death-grip. “I’d been masturbating for many years in the exact same way,” says OnlyFans creator Will Tantra, a sex and masturbation coach. “My body and cock got very used to my practiced path to orgasm, and I was finding it increasingly difficult to perform and reach a climax with others.”

At this point, it’s important to note that in this context, “performance” connotes a relatively narrow definition of sex, one that’s based almost exclusively around the presence of an erection, the cum it produces and the hole it goes into. Anything that falls outside that convention — like say, having sex without orgasming or preferring masturbation to penetration — is seen as not up to par. This puts an enormous amount of pressure on people with penises who are expected to engage in P-in-hole sex and pathologizes other, less goal-oriented forms of pleasure. So, while there’s nothing inherently wrong with enjoying a firmer grasp — or humping your pillows — it’s the expectation that men “perform” that causes them pain, as well as the actual effects of the grip itself. 

Because of this, many guys with death-grip try to undo it — something Tantra was able to accomplish through “consistent practice” and “dedication.” He says the solution is surprisingly simple: “The masturbator has to add variety to his solo sex practice.”

“He’ll need to masturbate in all the ways he may find himself having sex, from body position to type of lube used,” he continues. “He’ll need to simulate as closely as possible the feeling and stimulation his body and cock will be experiencing while engaged in partnered sex.” 

For those experiencing negative side effects as a result of their approach to masturbation, the advice for death-grip sufferers could be boiled down even further: “Masturbate gently.” Tantra says slower, moister and more supple strokes are the aim, or as he puts it, “Make your hand feel like a mouth, hole or pussy.” But what makes that so grueling is going without the stimulation your old ways provided until your penis and mind regain their sensitivity to mellower modes of pleasure. “It was slow-going,” Ben says, who’s been working to loosen his grip for a whole two decades.

Beyond simply willing himself to take it easy, Ben found solace in a Fleshlight. “My hands still grip that thing hard, but none of that pressure gets transferred to my penis,” he explains. “It was very difficult at first, because sometimes there just wasn’t enough sensation to get an erection or to orgasm. I ultimately did, but I sometimes felt like crying — it was so difficult.”

Moments like these caused Ben to “backslide many times.” The other struggle for Ben was a mental one. “I had to just accept that what I feel is what I feel,” he says. “Orgasms are still pleasurable, even with reduced sensation, and after a long while, the brain does sort of rewire itself to better receive and tune into the sensations that are there.”

On top of that, Ben credits some of his success to foreskin restoration, a process that, while not widely studied, is believed by many men to improve the sensitivity of their penises. “With that skin, there are a few more nerve endings,” he explains. “It’s definitely not the original foreskin or original nerve endings, but I believe the sensations have increased and expect that to continue.”

Still, even with the effectiveness of those interventions, Tantra suggests being open with partners about how you enjoy pleasuring yourself, no matter if it involves a solid grasp around your shaft. “It helps couples bond when they share this act together,” he says. “It’s also a huge educational tool, as partners get to see firsthand how their partners please themselves, and this gives them insight into how they can get them off as well.”

While Ben admits that he still feels “dependent on the Fleshlight, or if I’m lucky enough, another person,” there’s also been considerable improvement. His well-fluffed pillows can attest to that.